A Crisis of Faith

There are certain things of which I am certain, and there are many things of which I am not.  Many people are certain what they believe is the truth.  I am not certain they are right.

I am in the midst of a crisis in faith.

I believe in God – the most high, creator of heaven and earth, master orchestrator of our lives and this world.  I believe everything that is, is because He allows it to be.  I believe that all there is to know, is known because He – the source – allows it to be revealed.

I believe that MAN, NOT GOD is fallible.  Many beliefs and traditions of today are rooted in man’s interpretation.  Interpretations are not necessarily truths. This is where it gets messy for me. So my prayer has been for God to lead and guide me towards a greater understanding of HIS TRUTH.

God has made me a scholar.  So it has come as no surprise to me that what He has placed on my heart, in response to my questioning, is a scholarly endeavor.  I question whether this will lead to more questions as opposed to more answers, though I have a feeling that it ultimately doesn’t matter – the pursuit will be fruitful in and of itself.  I just pray for the persistence and discipline to push forward, and for the direction and guidance to let this take shape as it is destined to.  I don’t want to fear where He leads, and I want to be welcoming of the knowledge that is being given to me.

One of the first texts I was led to read talked about Medieval French rabbi & bible scholar Rashi who found many difficulties in the bible – apparent contradictions, flaws in logic, verses out of context and words/phrases/stories repeated for no clear purpose.  Rashi, however, was led to question these contradictions – to wrestle with God like Jacob, bargain like Moses at Mamre, argue with God like Moses at Mt. Sinai, questioning God face-to-face.

I took this as confirmation that I was on the right path.  And so it goes…


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